How can I describe that feeling... the one where I realize I probably know more about the world around me than a significant percentage of the world population?

     I feel morally obligated to tell people that their vision of reality is complete and utter crap... and that mine probably is too.

     I know, you might say, "So what? Different doesn't mean crap, it just means different." Ordinarily, I'd agree to some extent but you'd be missing the point.

     First, I know a lot more physics than the average person. That's about how the world works at a basic level. I know this for two reasons. I read books about it in my spare time. I've also taken a college course. No, that doesn't make me an expert, but it does mean I know better than someone who hasn't done any of those things and it changes the way I see the world around me. I can't seem to find a reliable chart anywhere, but to the best of my memory (please correct me) three full years of college make me more educated than 80% of Americans. That's just college in general, I'm not sure how much bigger the number is when talking about sciences in particular.

     Second, both modern philosophy and modern science tell me that the things we know right now are no better than working approximations of the truth, if truth exists at all. That is to say, the crap isn't bad, it's just not technically correct. Sometimes the uninformed try to convert others to their religion and attack science at the same time by talking about how science is always "changing it's mind", or continually getting things wrong and only replacing the wrong things with things that are shown to be also wrong at a later time. Some people have a problem with all that wishy-washy-ness... I have simply integrated it into my worldview. I don't know anything for sure, but there are plenty of little things I would still bet my life on. Like gravity not vanishing suddenly while I am sleeping. Like the world still being there when I cannot see it. There is absolutely no way to prove that it will be there, but we trust that it will and don't think about it too much because we could really drive ourselves insane trying. (Read Kant and Nietzsche.)

     Ignorance about the world feels a little similar to handing a kid a loaded gun with the safety off and telling him/her to figure it out. The trouble is that we've all got that loaded gun in our hands, and we have no idea what to do with it. Thus when someone tells me something like "Wine has cells" I can't help but feel a little spike of dread inside (while I laugh at the poor sod). Science, to me, is the admirable process of trying to figure out how the gun works without blowing someone's head off in the process.

     You probably know how a gun works and why we usually don't give them to little children without extensive instruction. I feel a little like I'm staring down the barrel of that untrained gun when someone tries to talk me into religion. Yes, science gets people killed, but for the most part they are trying not to. There is a big difference between trying not to and not trying to. Religion says "I have a gun, follow me or you might be down range when it goes off!" That's why it's scary to know things. You might have half an idea how dangerous the gun (reality) is and can't help telling people to stop waving it around like lunatics. It's not just religions that do the waving, it's anybody who knows less than anyone else. To their credit, most religions say a lot about how not to wave the gun. The part that rankles me the most is the hypocrisy of the message itself. There is a lot of "love your neighbor, but only if he worships the same way you do" going on. I get told what not to do plenty often: sometimes I don't listen and things go wrong.

     Sometimes it turns out I had the right idea anyway and they were barking up the wrong tree. That's another reason to be scared. Respectable people in the know don't always know. I heard that some physics team is in the process of proving Stephen Hawking wrong about something for just about the first time in his life. He came up with big bang theory, in case you were wondering. I look out on the world and I am scared by the things other people don't know... scared of how many of them there are... then I look ahead to those who know even more than me and it scares me even more that I may never understand enough. I may get my finger around the trigger of the universe and never know it before I set the whole thing off. I still don't know for sure that there is anything to know in the first place. So, I've now described somewhat the depth of my title statement of self-disclosure. I'll restate: my worldview is crap, but it's better than a lot of other crap and not just because it's mine, but because I know what kind of crap it is. Until I find out what the Truth is, I'm going to keep doing the best I can.

Put it in context, then make your decision.

In what context is your life important?
Is it really important to the universe and everything?
As a person of this world I am most important to those around me:
my friends, my family, my colleagues, and even to all those others whom my works will reach.
But what of the grander scheme of things?
What grander scheme is there than those loved ones?
Would I neglect them in pursuit of some undefinable more?
Every action I take propagates outward to those near me and from them to those near them,
like water ripples outward from the place a fish has jumped.
Is that not enough?
What about the salvation of mankind?
What would I save them from?
I see mankind's duty as living the best way possible, regardless of faith.
I see no reason to feel responsible for the actions of others.

     People constantly play at influencing other people. Anyone telling you that they are not trying to influence your decisions is lying to you. It is my mission, through this blog and everything I do, to try to influence as many people as I can to make the choices I consider right. I may not always be gentle about it.
     Life, for humans, is in part a constant struggle of various people who think they know what's right. They gather followers, they preach at them, and then they lead on into the black abyss of the future, hoping all the while that they are a light and not a trap. Some believe so firmly in their own infallibility that they will lead others directly into traps they can see plainly ahead of them, more afraid of the press behind than the pitfalls ahead. Many politicians fall into this category. Others may struggle almost blindly to find the right path forward, convinced that all others before them have gone the wrong way. Still others have a light of their own with which to see ahead and walk confidently into the dark whether they are followed or not. There are those who follow proven paths and sidestep known pitfalls. Many cannot lead. Many of those do not know how to choose a leader.
     I prefer to lead, but for those that follow, please choose a leader that is not afraid to correct their mistakes. Perhaps my long metaphor is opaque, but do not be obtuse. You have the ability to choose, and the duty to make the best choice you can, whether you are a leader, a follower, a loner, or just hanging out somewhere along the way. Gather information, check your sources, and choose again. Choose again. Choose again. You can make the same choice over and over but know that there is nothing keeping you from choosing differently. Learn from your mistakes, learn from others' mistakes, and don't forget to learn from success as well. I can preach and rant and rave and grovel and lecture and plead with any number of people for any length of time to make a particular choice I feel is the right one, but in the end, it is still YOUR choice.
     I for one, choose to lead in my own way, after gaining what I believe to be the best kind of education and gathering what I think is the best information. I choose to make my own choice. I choose to frown upon those that would take that power away from me. I choose to choose differently from what I am told to choose, and nobody can tell me not to, because it is my choice. Think about it. And have a nice day ;)

--The real world is a harsh place to live and though we may deny it, we live there from the day we are born.--